mental health, mom, postpartum, postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, struggling mom, working mom, house fire, fertility treatments, pregnancy Tiffany Howard mental health, mom, postpartum, postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, struggling mom, working mom, house fire, fertility treatments, pregnancy Tiffany Howard

Life Update

we stopped fertility treatments, our house burned down, our dog died, we got pregnant, we moved into a rental, were rebuilding our house, and i am an emotional rollercoaster.

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mental health, mom, postpartum, postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, struggling mom, working mom, depression Tiffany Howard mental health, mom, postpartum, postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, struggling mom, working mom, depression Tiffany Howard

Rotten Zucchini & Depression

I’ve spent so much energy the past couple of years trying to point fingers and source each bout of depression with the hope that one of these days I would be able to somehow stop it before it took me out. Time and time again, I end up losing. Turns out, its mostly out of my control. As I look back at the past few weeks, I’m not sure there’s something I could have done differently that would have magically unspiraled my mental health. I can only control how I react.

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goals, mom, struggling mom, mental health, postpartum, postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, working mom, depression, 10yearchallenge Tiffany Howard goals, mom, struggling mom, mental health, postpartum, postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, working mom, depression, 10yearchallenge Tiffany Howard

10 Years

“I have never thought this through, or wrote this out, but I want to, and I’m excited to. I feel like there has been a huge shift in energy, and we are preparing for something big. I just have this feeling that the next 10 years are going to be my PRIME (this is coming from the girl that adamantly believed she peaked in 8th grade until about 6 months ago).”

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TTC, Trying to Conceive, mental health, mom, postpartum, postpartum depression, struggling mom, working mom, depression, postpartum psychosis Tiffany Howard TTC, Trying to Conceive, mental health, mom, postpartum, postpartum depression, struggling mom, working mom, depression, postpartum psychosis Tiffany Howard

TTC

We never really “tried” with my last two pregnancies, they were effortless and exciting in their own way. This one is different. Every month I pin down my “fertile” days and follow them closely, monitoring my body carefully for signs of ovulation. Then 2 weeks later I have the excitement of peeing on a stick and trying not to get my hopes up. Each negative test is more devastating than the last. Then my period comes, my heart sinks, my dream of another baby feels further and further away….and then we start the process over again. It’s a discouraging rollercoaster.

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mental health, mom, postpartum, postpartum depression, struggling mom, working mom, depression, pregnancy, suicide prevention Tiffany Howard mental health, mom, postpartum, postpartum depression, struggling mom, working mom, depression, pregnancy, suicide prevention Tiffany Howard

Life After Psychosis

This is what “normal” looks like after psychosis. Its over-run and dominated by the inability to trust your own brain. Everyday I celebrate small victories like grocery shopping without being triggered or lasting in my office for a full 9 hours without crying or throwing up. I don’t know if this is how I’ll be forever, but I am hopeful I can keep working through it one small victory at a time.

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