Plan C and a ½.
Hi friends. Wow, 2 posts in 2 weeks, who is she??? Could a depressed gal do THIS?? (spoiler alert the answer is yes)
I know you’re all dying to know - how did mommy weekend go? Are you still depressed? What’s the tea??
First off, mommy weekend was great. It was nice to have some time to myself and I started finally writing something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. It felt good to do something just for me.
Did it cure all that ails me – well… not really.
When I came home on Sunday my husband saw me sitting somberly on the couch, “it wasn’t everything you hoped it would be, was it?” he said.
“How’d you know?”
“Because being away from you two has never made me feel good.”
He was right, even when I was away, I was facetiming them, jealous of their little adventures and all the fun they were having. I was getting the alone time I needed but felt like I was robbing myself of the memories being formed of a beautiful spring day with my family. Mom guilt strikes again.
The week that followed was hard. I struggled with my thoughts, I was tired, I was stressed – still depressed.
I know I said Plan D was next, but I’ve concocted a new plan… We’ll call this one Plan C and a ½. Here it is – Plan C and a ½ is distraction. Filling the void with work/play/forced human interaction and making myself uncomfortably busy for the next couple weeks. You can’t be depressed if you simply have no time to feel, right?
Here’s the thing – this feels like a bad idea. This sounds like I am making my life harder, more stressful, tiring. If anything, I’m setting myself up for failure because you know what’s hard when you’re depressed? Everything. Everything is harder when you’re depressed.
But I’m going to try it anyway and maybe I can unslump myself by simply faking it till I make it. You know what they say, *HaPpInEsS iS a ChOiCe*. (this is satire, this advice is garbage don’t ever say that to a depressed person).
If it doesn’t work – I’ve got a psych appointment in a few weeks anyway so there’s always that.
