Unsolicited Advice from an Unqualified Toddler Mom

I haven’t written in far to long. Writing brings me such peace, I forced myself to crank something out, something just for me. I thought about writing a lot of things today, but most of them felt too heavy, and I wanted something lighthearted. So decided on something that absolutely nobody asked for from me– motherhood advice. I’m overwhelmingly unqualified to give moms advice, I’m super aware of that. But I’m going to do it anyway, here it is, my top tips for moms…

Unsolicited Advice from an Unqualified Toddler Mom

1.       Drink cold coffee, that way when you spill your coffee on your kid – and you will spill your coffee on your kid – at least they won’t suffer 3rd degree burns.

2.       Apologize.  You’ll slip up, you’ll misplace your anger on your child, and when you do, get down on their level, look them in the eye and tell them you’re sorry. Let them know you are flawed, too.

3.       Pencil in being messy. Take advantage of that rainy day, put them in shitty clothes and play in the mud with them.

4.       Literally no one will know if they had a cookie for breakfast. No one.

5.       Read adult books, even if you aren’t a “reader”. After they go to bed, during their 15th time watching Cars, while they nap; whenever you find the time, use it to remind yourself you are an adult. (While I’m here – my top 3 this month have been Verity by Colleen Hoover, Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides, and Regretting You by Colleen Hoover… Well actually, anything by Colleen Hoover.)

6.       Find your Mom Squad. Find other moms who can laugh at your horror stories, who are in the trenches of toddlerhood with you, who you can lean on when you need to, who will parent your child while you pour another drink. My neighborhood mom squad has been one of my biggest blessings. (this is about you Jessica and Martha – I freaking love you guys)

7.       Teach them where you keep extra toilet paper. This comes in handy at an embarrassingly young age.

8.       Keep pre-workout on hand for days you REALLY don’t want to clean the kitchen, do the laundry, or play outside. It hits way harder than espresso.

9.       Stop talking about what they are eating or not eating. Fill their plate with options, let them eat what they want to eat and tell them that’s whats on the menu. Don’t plead for one more bite of carrots, or exaggerate how yummy peas are… present cookies the same way you present veggies and watch how quickly pickiness is curbed.

10.   Add the questions “what are you thankful for today?” and “what made you sad/happy today?” into your bedtime routine. This has sparked some of my absolute favorite conversations with my 2 year old.